Topic: Does anybody else experience this?

English Alexithymia Forum > Questions and Answers

Does anybody else experience this?
06.02.2021 by User28487J49

Hi I'm 26 and male. So for my whole life I've never expressed emotions like most people do, Even as a child. Saying that the only emotions I really express is anger when I get stressed over somthing. (Which is rare because I'm very laid back, when I was young I used to be very angry all the time especially during puberty) I sometimes get some kind of feeling for maybe a couple of seconds when watching a happy/sad video but both of these feel the same to me and only last for a second or two then go away. It was the same when my daughter was born I had that 1 or 2 seconds feeling once during her child birth then it went away. But since she has been born I can actualy say with confidence that we have bonded really well and I love her on an emotional level. But with my long tearm partner I can't but I know I care for her because I don't want anything bad to happen to her, I just don't feel it. Anybody else have a simular situation to this ?

07.02.2021 by Alexej


Yes what you describe seems familiar.
I do not have an emotional connection with my children, or grandchildren. I am around them, and interest with them, but I dont get the warm fuzzy feeling that it seems that others have.

13.02.2021 by Milkbad

I think a common mistake, is thinking that you need to feel a certain way around your friends and family, it is very common that people don't feel much for their family or offspring. A lot of people lump that in with "I'm just taking them for granted", but life isn't constant excitement around friends and family, its mundane.

08.04.2021 by User99621A38

I have the same issue. I understand emotions, I can describe truelly emotional scenes, I'm a writer... I can live vicariously through characters either my own or others'... but I don't in real life. I don't want my hubby or child to die... or get really hurt. But that's it. I have no emotional attachments. I used to describe myself as daddy's little girl, then my dad passed away and... still waiting to feel anything. It's been 2 years. Everyone says it will hit me someday. Idk. I'm not a sociopath because I do experience remorse. That's how I found this site. I knew something was different about me but no actual personality disorders fit. I feel like the older I get, the less I care/feel. I do feel frustration though and anger, not often, because like OP I'm pretty laid back. Things that would provoke other people gets an eyeroll from me. I don't have the patience to care. I'm not nurturing and taking care of my family is a duty, a chore. I could go live on a deserted island with wifi to keep writing and call it heaven. I think I spent more of my life living in my head than in the real world. As a teen I used to say my emotions are "broken" as in, they don't work. Back then I assumed I needed to do some growing up...

21.04.2021 by Milkbad

Emotional disassociation is another common issue around the world and it is common for older persons to become emotionally unavailable or detached throughout life. I can only recommend you see a therapist and perhaps as about an autism specialist in your are if you think it is a true disorder issue related to Alexi or Autism.

10.06.2021 by User67915K93

I was talking to my ex last night, and he mentioned that when we were together I would do certain things that would anger him and not be aware of how it affected our relationship. Which is mildly true, whenever he brought it up to my attention I would be in a shocked state wondering why he felt that way. I had difficulty understanding where he was coming from because whatever I did, didn’t seem that serious to me. I’ve always been like this, back in highschool I use to tell my friends I was “cold hearted” but in reality I never fully understood my emotions or how I should act in certain situations. I don’t respond to emotions of other people very well. I either shut down or roll my eyes; not caring about how the other person is feeling. I also find it hard to express what I’m feeling towards others. Whenever I try to I end up rambling or going off topic, resulting in confusing the other person and making it hard to understand how I’m truly feeling. I think I need help but I can’t afford to see a therapist. So I’m stuck trying to find help through research.

23.12.2021 by Jaycie52

Hey, thanks everyone for sharing on here. As much as I don’t have lot of strong emotions toward people I have often felt “left out” and did not understand why. Hearing others’ stories helps me put that in perspective. I have many “friends” but almost no close friends. I regularly upset the people who are close to me because I say “hurtful” things which to me just seem like objective statements with no “emotion” attached. It is a struggle. The people closest to me often drift away because I find their emotional reactions to everything to be confounding and I really dislike dealing with it. Ha maybe I do know why I’m an outcast.

23.02.2022 by User63c94N94

Just coming here to say that I'm the same as others in this thread. I don't see the "point" of feelings, as they have no useful purpose. I don't want anyone close to me to get hurt (physically). But I can't say that I truly care about their feelings, in fact I wish they didn't have any and we could just bond over common interests and achieving things together. Like many people here I was told by friends growing up that I'm cold, a robot, heartless (which is not true). I've always seen this trait as a strength because I can go through difficulties and overcome thanks to this trait. However, it's a hurdle in relationships, especially with my wife. Understanding my daughter is also difficult. But I see it as a challenge and just a skill to learn. We don't have to BE like others and have the same feelings. We CAN learn to understand how they function and learn the best way to handle each situation that calls for a "typical" emotional response. It's like learning to speak a foreign language. It can be done, then life around others will become smoother.